Rules sections

The KickAss Forum Rules

1. IMPORTANT READ THIS FIRST- The member registration link has been deactivated due to spam bots. BEFORE you can register for The KickAss Forum, you must contact me by clicking the Contact Us link and tell me what you expect to accomplish by becoming a member of the KickAss Forum. I also need to know that you have read and understood all the forum rules. I want you to verify that you have sent the recommended NC message to your ex. Include a copy of the exact NC message you sent to your ex. Last, but not least, if you have any questions, now is the time to ask them before you join. Not only will this ensure you get faster results, but this will also help me to verify you are a real person and not some spam bot. I will not allow you to join this forum until after you contact me, and we both feel this will be a good fit. After it is determined that you will be a good fit, I will email you a link to register. #
2. *Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this website "thekickassforum.com" are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice.
   If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. All text/writing/images that you choose to enter/share on the KickAss forum becomes the property of the KickAss Forum and will only be removed at the discretion of the forum administration. If you do not agree to this... DO NOT POST ANYTHING ON THIS FORUM. #

3. HeartBreak Hotel

   1. HeartBreak Hotel Rules
      
      These are the rules for the HeartBreak Hotel Forum
      
      Please follow ALL these rules.
      
      These rules are subject to change.
      
      After I approve your registration, before you do anything you must open a topic in the HeartBreak Hotel forum and post your breakup story.
      
      Make sure you write down everything you want to say because you will not be able to change it later.
      
      DO NOT open another topic in the HeartBreak Hotel.
      
      Each member has one breakup story so we can understand where you came from, where you are now and where you hope to be in the future. #

4. No Contact Diary

   1. No Contact Diary Rules
      
      These are the rules for the No Contact Diary Forum
      
      Please follow ALL these rules.
      
      These rules are subject to change.
      
      After you post your breakup story in the HeartBreak Hotel, start your No Contact Diary in the No Contact Diary Forum.
      
      First thing you do is, post the no contact message you sent to your ex.
      
      If you didn't send one...
      
      *YOU MUST SEND THE NC MESSAGE TO USE THE KICKASS FORUM FOR SUPPORT*
      
      IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEND THE NC MESSAGE YOUR PROFILE WILL BE DELETED.
      
      I HAVE TO BE FAIR TO ALL MEMBERS, IF THEY SENT ONE, YOU HAVE TO, AS WELL.
      
      I highly recommend you reconsider and send the appropriate NC message as outlined in The No Contact Message section.
      
      Once you have finished doing these things, you can now use this as your daily NC diary.
      
      DO NOT open another topic in The No Contact Diary, you will post everything from here on in, in this diary.
      
      You do not need another one, it will only make it harder to follow along with your NC journey.
      
      One member = one NC diary.
      
      This makes it easier for me and other members to follow along and offer you support when you need it.
      
      OK, now get going and Kick Loves Ass! #

5. No Contact Message

   1. Welcome to The No Contact Message Section
      
      The idea behind the no contact message is to be direct, polite, short, and to the point.
      
      This is NOT the place to apologize, or to place any blame on anyone...understand?
      
      Use my example messages word for word and you will get great results.
      
      This is the beginning, the point of "no return", as scary as that seems this is also the beginning of the "evolution".
      
      At the end of all this you will either get your ex back, or move on.
      
      Either way, you will be A LOT better off than you are now.
      
      Now... stop second guessing and take some action!
      
      ********************************************
      
      A Good Subject Line - You Were Right - (after all you're going to agree with their idea to break up, right?)
      
      ********************************************
      
      A Good NC Message (if they broke up with you)
      
      Hi,
      I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us.
      I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over.
      I would really appreciate it if you didn't contact me during this time.
      I will be in touch when I am ready.
      
      ********************************************
      
      *Note - If you share custody of children you can alter the part:
      
      I would really appreciate it if you didn't contact me during this time.
      I will be in touch when I am ready.
      
      Change it to read:
      
      I would really appreciate it if you didn't contact me during this time, unless it is about our child/children.
      I will be in touch when I am ready.
      
      ********************************************
      
      A Good NC Message (if you broke up with them)
      
      Hi,
      I do not regret my decision to break up with you, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us.
      I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over.
      I would really appreciate it if you didn't contact me during this time.
      I will be in touch when I am ready.
      
      ********************************************
      
      Now!
      
      If you're not sure if you're broken up or not (maybe just taking a break)...
      
      Use this form of that message to get yourself out of "Relationship Limbo"...OK?
      
      Hi,
      I agree with your decision to take a break, I really believe it is the best thing for both of us right now.
      I have some big decisions to make, and I need some time to think them over.
      I would really appreciate it if you didn't contact me during this time.
      I will be in touch when I am ready.
      
      ********************************************
      
      Some More Thoughts About How The NC Message Works
      
      So would it be weird to send out another message to let your ex know that you agree with the break up AGAIN, after you already sent another version of the NC message?
      
      I don't know if it would be weird to reaffirm "their" decision to break up, or not.
      
      That message that I recommend is sort of cold and clean like a lawyer would send.
      
      There is no emotion in there and that really catches people off guard, and because it is so short and vague they will start to get curious...right?
      
      I know I didn't write any of these "Get Your Ex Back" books that you guys read and use, and because of that I was able to think outside of their boxes, and re-work a way to start NC even though people have already done it unsuccessfully.
      
      I had to find an answer to the question: "I already started NC and it isn't working, or I didn't understand how NC works, and we haven't talked for "x" amount of time...is it too late, what do I do now?"
      
      This little NC message seems to get reactions from everyone who has used it... why not give it a try?
      
      The main thing you want to do is remind them it was "their" decision to break up and now you are making some big decisions, and you don't want to be disturbed while you make them.
      
      Is any of this a "lie" your ex broke up with you right?
      
      You do have a big decision to make...whether to "move on" or not.
      
      And you don't want any contact from them, and by telling people they can't have something makes them want it more...right?
      
      What is happening here?
      
      You are in a sense now breaking up with them and raising curiosity.
      
      Why would he/she send me this message now?
      
      What big decision is he/she talking about?
      
      He/She will be in touch...what will he/she say?
      
      "Switch Flipped" NC Message mission accomplished! #